"It might be true
The more one experiences suffering
The more he can be tender and strong ”
—Ayumi Hamasaki from “my name’s WOMAN”

This is a quote from my favorite singer of all time. She writes her own lyrics and sometimes composes the music, but I find that her lyrics speak to my life and my experiences more than any other singer on earth. Ayumi had a very depressing life because when she was young her father said he was going on a business trip but then he left and never came back. She was forced into modeling at a young age in order to pay bills, and she couldn't make friends in her neighborhood because of her independence and her mother's strange behaviors. Don't quote me on these facts, though I know most of them are pretty accurate. I've had to move around a lot in my life so I definetely can relate to Ayumi's struggles and having a family who is sometimes hard to agree with. I admire Ayumi for her independence and realism, and feel as though I've been with her on her path toward self understanding that is so clear in all her touching and emotional lyrics. Every time I was suffering, I would turn one of her songs and usually by then I had already looked up the lyrics and would think of what they meant to me and how I'm not the only one who feels alone and low on self esteem. Though I've listened to a lot of J-pop, K-pop, and other genres of Asian music I still think that Ayumi is my favorite.

This particular song that I quoted is about how women are always treated as being underneath men, even though we're in a new era where women are supposed to be equal there is still subtle prejudices and harrasment going on below the surface. Ayumi addresses these facts in her song in the lyrics "we're not just dolls who are dressed up." Clearly, she still thinks that men don't always treat women equally. I would have to agree with her, because speaking from the point of view of someone who has always felt like she didn't quite fit into the feminine stereotype, it's not easy being a "strong" woman. By strong I mean I don't take people's crap, I don't sit around and pretend I'm cute and flirt with guys when I'm bored, I actually take my work seriously and don't try to appear weak or stupid to attract people, and I will make an attempt to stand up for myself if I have to. It's not like I'm a feminist or anything, but I've had a pretty dramatic life in comparison to the average person and I've learned to deal with tough times. I never thought back in childhood that when I became a teenager I would scare my friend's younger brother without saying a word to him. Sorry if this was all rather confusing but it's just my thought process right now. Sometimes it sucks to be female. But it's better when Ayumi is on your side.